Spy-duh Man, friendly neighborhood Spy-duh Man!

"Bubz, she's at it again!, exclaimed Sid, bursting into the room in a frenzy.  I looked up from my laptop to enquire about the "she" and what "she was at", but he was already gone with his furry sidekick in tow.  I had some time to kill and decided to humor myself by following them. An obvious trail of dog hair, a half eaten bone dropped in excitement, and a slipper left behind in haste led to our bedroom where I came upon a curious sight (actually not so curious, living with Sid has made me accustomed to the strange and wonderful or not-so-wonderful).  Sid was standing on the bed, his left ear plastered against the wall, while Mia mimicked him joyfully, her front paws unable to balance for too long on the wall, resulting in a lot of scrambling and noisy scratching. "Mia for god sakes, I am trying to listen, stop making so much noise!"  She hopped down indignantly, fixed him with a look of loathing and lunged for his ankles. Much shrieking ensued and in seconds both of them were horizontal on the bed.  I waited for some calm, which didn't come for a few minutes with the dog being accused of being "stupid" and "loud", and me being accused of "feeding Mia too much, resulting in her becoming chubby and unable to balance against a wall".  As I was fast losing patience , I expressed it quite profusely, which sped up his narrative.  "She's screaming again, that lady. I can't figure out where her voice is coming from - two blocks away or above us or below us, it's so frustrating. She sounds so angry. Sarina, Mia and I have been trying to figure out what she is up to- a domestic spat perhaps, a lovers tiff! Perhaps it's about money...or just her kids getting on her nerves! I  can't sleep, can't eat, I must know what's going on".

As I looked at Sid absentmindedly muttering on, and feeding Mia eight biscuits instead of four, I realized how curious he always is. I am as well, but more about people I know, neighbors and strangers are hardly ever on my mind! But it's different with Sid, he'll be standing at the kitchen window and observing two teenagers talking downstairs and he'll immediately start speculating on what they're up to.  "Ha...two young kids, probably in the throes of young romance. Having a clandestine meeting under our window!" I peered down and rubbished his theory in seconds "You idiot. They're brother and sister! I know because they come over to say hi to Mia when I am walking her and they both play badminton around this time. They're probably waiting for the store to open downstairs...gutter head you are!" He looked a bit sheepish, but made up for it by declaring that it was an honest mistake and he had never seen siblings being civil to each other at that age so how was he supposed to know!

Another time I came home to a noisy discussion between Sid, Sarina and Subhash, the garbage man.  I gathered that there had been an altercation between one of the residents and the security guard and all the help in the colony had gathered to watch.  Sid had heard the ruckus and hung out of our bedroom window for a better view, almost falling out and grazing his wrists in a successful attempt to keep himself inside.  Sarina and Subhash had seen everything and were narrating the incident to Sid (who was once again feeding Mia cake absentmindedly, so engrossed was he in the story) replete with actions and much screaming and correcting of each other. There had been a disagreement about the parking, with the guard accusing the resident of obstructing traffic by leaving his vehicle in the middle of the exit pathway.  Sarina chose to enact the bellowing resident, using some extremely dodgy vocabulary. Not not only dodgy because it made Subhash and Sid look extremely shocked, but probably because the parking offender never really said anything like that! Subhash chose to distract everyone from this tirade by clapping his hands together in a mighty crash to show Sid how loud the two parties slapped each other and Sarina threw her leg out alarmingly to further add a kick that was placed on someone's backside (they were unclear as to who kicked whom).  They declared the resident pure evil and Sid sided with them, and decided to rush off downstairs to find out more. He came back rather disappointed - all was well, the vegetable shop owner had informed him that there was no further talk of arguments and sworn enmity, the two parties had kissed and made up, and everyone's life was back to normal. Sid looked crestfallen, upset that the fight hadn't lasted longer and there was nothing to write home about.

And so it continues...him rushing around with Mia, trying to get her to befriend all the colony doggies so that he knows what their owners are up to. "Hey, I'm just being a friendly neighbour", he reasoned when I confronted him, and I quickly corrected him "...friendly neighbourhood spy you are!"  He always pooh-pooh's my view on all this and continues his "friendly neighbourhood-ness", speculating wildly on romances, arguments, weddings, new cars coming into the colony, etc etc. And of course none of his theories turn out to be true. As I accused him of being heavily influenced by 'Desperate Housewives' he dismissed me as usual with a wave of his hand and went off to the kitchen to consult with Sarina (our resident expert on the neighbourhood going's on) on what the mystery of the shrieking woman could be. As I listened to them discuss all the possible theories, ranging from a domestic tiff to her being an actress, rehearsing a scene from an upcoming play perhaps, I decided to stop arguing with them. After all, it was first rate entertainment to watch them being utterly ridiculous and we all need humour in our lives - and Sid provides it in abundance.  The only slight danger is that rather overweight dog, who once again was taking advantage of their being too busy to notice her, and was wolfing down peanuts from Sid's hands. Ah well, 'Spy-duh Man' and his Unwieldy Dog make for some great real life entertainment!


kadambari said…
You just made my Monday better, Reem and also Sid. Very well written.
Reem said…
Aww thanks Kadambari...how've you been? Long time :)

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