Fit or fib?
Sid on the other hand also enjoys his food, but has probably never even thought about his weight since nothing seems to affect him much. While I am racing around the jogging track or being tortured by trainers at the gym he sits around in his boxers with a beer in his hand, eating buttered toast sprinkled with aloo bhujiya, his favourite snack! Working out has never been his thing, though sports is and he'd much rather go out and play a game of tennis or badminton and is obsessed with golf, playing a few times a week. The only time he's really done any sort of more "organized" exercise is when we used to date and he joined my dance classes, and he happened to join when we were learning tap dancing, really one of the toughest forms I've ever had to learn over the years, and the fact that he'd join at that time will always be one of the funniest, yet extremely flattering, times in our relation. He also did yoga with me for a while, where our instructor may have liked my dedication and bendi-ness, but he lovvvess Sid who is absolutely incapable of touching his toes, cries out in pain for everything and his regular counting for holding any position is a strangled "1,2,6, 25, 80,000' and back to normal! Our instructor is a young, slightly built, lightweight who goes to great pains to help his idol. Examples being Sid attempting to touch his toes while sitting, legs extended out. He hopped on his back attempting to put more pressure on him and Sid who wasn't at all comfortable with the excessive proximity of the male touch, froze where he was (which wasn't far!) and remained so for another 30 seconds. Our instructor sweated and grunted, but to no avail and finally slid off defeated. "Sir, aap toh bilkul pedh kee tare ho. Hilte hee nahin...bade strong ho"! (You're built like a tree...so strong and immovable!). At another time, our instructor was regaling us with stories of one of his students, who couldn't move and he was really struggling with her. Sid, encouraged by worse examples than him, asked hopefully "Mere seh bhi useless hai?" (Are they even worse than me?). The answer was accompanied by a hearty laugh and not even a split second pause "Arre sir, kya baat kar rahein hain. Aap seh toh koyi non-flexible nahin hain" (What are you saying...no one's as stiff as you are). But despite me staying loyal for years and as dedicated as ever, Sid gave up after a short while ("It's just too hard bubz, I don't like it, very boring!") and actually hides in the TV room, preferring to stay holed up for an hour then come out. He's always sorely missed by the instructor, who never fails to ask where "Sir" is and always looks disappointed to know that "it's just me"!
C'est la vie, I suppose, that the fibbers are the fittest and the fittest are the fattest! Thank god I'm cuter!